So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
