just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
