so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
