you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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