What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
