why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
