dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
