I wish i was in the wii world.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
and she was petting her beer can
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
