god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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