There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
so much tequila, so little girl.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
