I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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