i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
