He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
