Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
