I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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