Pappa wants mamma naked
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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