hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize