So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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