Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
