meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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