fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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