Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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