i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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