highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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