Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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