This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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