Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
