But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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