nut hugger
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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