She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
