You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
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she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
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This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
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