I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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