the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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