I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
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I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
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Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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