That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
