I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
