Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
