Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
