Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
