I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
No...this little piggys going to the bar
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
