I need help removing her.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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