Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in your delicious
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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