im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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