whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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