what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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