I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
