I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
