Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Moan for me like Helen Keller
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
