she was so not down for the gang bang
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Randomize