i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
