piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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