god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
