you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
