I haven't been this sober since birth.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
