Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
