when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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