if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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