i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
