Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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