You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
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I booty called her while she was in labor.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize